Parallel lives

Forever plagued by the eternal what ifs, i finally crack. Buried beneath so many layers and years, behind a friendship full of fears and tears, a fire burns. It disgusts me how i lack the discipline to control the flames. They threaten to consume the very person i claim to love. Sometimes i imagine that its as easy as "once upon a time... and they lived happily ever after." It's never that simple. The substance, the filler is missing. Like they always say, the devil's in the details.

Perhaps the devil is what possessed me in the first place.

"_____, i still love you. After all these years, that torch i carry is still there. And i know we're both deeply involved, but i want to say that maybe i'd be better for you, even though secretly, i'm not sure that i am. I wish i could make you as happy as i think you'd make me. You just feel so right, i can't imagine this being wrong. I realize by saying this, i jeopordize our friendship and run the risk of losing you but i just can't take it anymore. Seeing you makes me ache beause i know that you aren't with me and sometimes it hurts so much it makes me wanna run away and never turn back..."